Kickoff occurred, food is prepped, boot camps are scheduled, and I have left the starting gate for another Body Challenge at the Fitness Asylum. Many veterans voice how challenging, self-defeating, and failure-producing the 2nd challenge is after success with the initial outing. Yet failure is not an option. This second go-around is not part of any plateau I am planning or reversal of fortune. Instead I intend to surge forward and reach my initial weight loss goal, with the ultimate aspiration of maintenance post-victory. Turning back never occurred to me. Settling into this current weight will not sustain me. Movement towards the “whole” me continues, my only option.
Rather than about weight loss, regaining a piece of myself that vanished is the objective. Long ago part of me disappeared; the self-worthy portion became fragmented; and I was uncertain I would ever discover her again. This journey is about reclaiming myself, healing the wounds of my past, and living in a new space of self-confidence, self-compassion, and self-love. This is my time to become whole again, collect the shards that lay before me, and mend a broken soul.
Decades of introspection for a plight towards self-worth and wholeness, is worth the wait. (maybe not while I was struggling terribly in those early years; yet perhaps patience has paid off.) I step off the plank of fear, and venture confidently in the direction of my vision of wholeness. Today, although trite, is the first day of the rest of my life; I am extremely grateful. My cup runneth over.